No Parkay Here

Just butter. If you look closely you can see at least four finger channels. I then noticed a buttery trail from the countertop to the cabinets and down the floor (was that why my sock felt odd?) Apparently, Sam had a hard time getting it off his fingers so he spent some time painting it off. Below is an approximate re-creation of events:

Twins decide they deserve a 'reward' m&m, but Mom is upstairs with Sam folding clothes

Patrick and Isaac move double-step stool to kitchen

Patrick and Isaac get down m&m bag and carry to closet

Mom and Sam go downstairs to check out squealing and giggling

Mom finds twins in closet downstairs with door shut

Mom finds immediately apologetic twins with their mouths full of chocolate sitting in the closet in a pool of m&m's

Mom leaves Sam to usher twins to bed for mandated early nap

Sam crawls up chair to tabletop to have crayon-eating contest with Biscuit the Cat

Mom comes downstairs to find Sam in middle of kitchen table eating crayons

Sam put on floor, Mom pushes in all chairs and heads upstairs

Mom has a 'talk' with twins upstairs

Sam finds cool double-step stool left handily by kitchen counter

Sam has butter tasting/smearing in kitchen

Mom comes downstairs and notices butter looks...well, odd

And for the award for best rapidly-disintigrating situation, the winning moral of the story is...

don't leave baby Sam alone for a second? don't leave Patrick and Isaac alone for a second? Sam needs more fat in his diet? Mom shouldn't be using a cop-out food-based reward system? Everything's better with blue baby bonnet on it? Butter all over the Land o Lakes? I can't believe it's all buttery?

Lunchtime at our house

Sam crawls into a box, gets stuck, bounces and yells to get out. Mom heats up leftovers from Bucca takeout (yum!). Sam crawls up 2-step stool in the bathroom and tries on the towel. Mom says a quick prayer for lunch and starts to shovel in food. I always feel like I have a 30 second window to eat and I'm hungry. "We forgot bounty!" yells Patrick. "Bounty! We forgot bounty Mommy!" Isaac chimes in. What is this, a pirate ship? Sam crawls to Patrick and tries to pull his plate off the table. "Bounty, we forgot bounty!" They speak clearly enough I shouldn't be having this problem. I scoop up Sam so he can join us in his high chair, Issac gives him some spaghetti. "Pounty? Boaty? What?" I offer, still trying to slurp down spaghetti. "Bown-tee!" they both correct me. Ah. "Bless us, oh Lord, for these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord." Much crossing latter, everyone is content to eat. "Bucca guy makes good chicken!" states Isaac.